Drowning Violet

Drowning Violet

I don’t know about you, but some songs can create a deep emotional reaction in me. Even if you haven’t heard the song in years, it can take you right back to that place like a time machine and all of a sudden you’re that past person with the same feelings, remembering the sights and smells like you had never left that place.

That’s how I felt when I finally decided to plug in Sheryl Crow’s Global Sessions CD. I knew it was somewhere in the huge box of CDs I had drug from Texas to Connecticut, but I hadn’t listened to it since 1999/2000 – my anthem CD after getting divorced. After 14ish years, I though Why not? That was a great CD – surely enough time has gone by that I can enjoy the songs without totally reliving the harsh post-divorce period.

And that was true…partially. I love the gritty, raw lyrics and beats – the you done me wrong but I’m surviving themes. But that first time of listening to it after so many years, the music did bring back memories and emotions of that tough time period. I couldn’t stop listening to it wallowing in the sensation it created – eventually crossing that barely perceptible thin membrane when you feel yourself shifting from logic to deep violet – submerged in emotions so strong no one can say anything to make it better. It’s probably best at that point to just be alone because no matter what anyone says, it will just make it 10 times worse.

That’s where Drowning Violet came from – the dark place of being submerged in emotions that are overwhelmingly strong – not being able to see any resolve or light at tunnel’s end. Until eventually you work through it, resurfacing, passing back through the membrane to a glimmer of hope. My mom said the first crayon I gravitated toward as a little girl was deep violet, and she took it from me time and time again thinking it was too dark a color psychologically for a young child.

Purple is still my favorite color.

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